picobong moka review

REVIEW: PICOBONG MOKA

Picobong Moka spiked my curiosity when I first saw it. My mind was immediately like: “OMG! A VIBRATING LELO ELLA?! Deal! It’s mine!” But when I noticed that it required two AAA batteries to operate, my brain shoved the Moka out of my memory, and I carried on with my life. I mean… There’s no way that a toy requiring AAA battery was going to be powerful or rumbly or even feel good, right?

But I was wrong.

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Jopen Comet Wand

REVIEW: JOPEN COMET WAND

It took me eight months, eight freaking months to conquer the Comet Wand. My vagina is finally becoming a boss, but damn did it take a lot of crying, bruised vagina, and courage.

It was somewhere in August 2013 when the Comet Wand entered Sextopia. Back then, the Comet Wand and I just didn’t click. I hated it: I hated how it made my body felt, I hated how it made me scared, and I hated how it made my body react. If I had published my review back then, I would have trashed the Comet Wand.

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doxy massager

REVIEW: DOXY MASSAGER

I changed Doxy Massager Wand’s name to Doxy the Clown. I can’t help it. It keeps fooling me – from the moment it was born to the moment I received it, and until the moment I started using it. But our relationship isn’t pure hatred either. It’s more complicated than that.

First, Doxy Massager has been marketed as THE world’s MOST powerful wand massager. Is it true? Well, if your opinion is only based on the number of Rotations Per Minute (RPM), which, on the highest speed, is approximately 9000 RPM, then I guess this is quite true. However, you’re a fool if you base your opinion on that. The Doxy is indeed strong. So strong, in fact, that it becomes way too painful to use on the last couple vibration speeds. The amount of buzziness in that bulb feels like it’s going to rip the skin of my clitoral hood apart any seconds. So is it strong?

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shibari halo wand

REVIEW: SHIBARI HALO WAND

Three minutes.

That’s how long Shibari Halo Wand took to make me orgasm.

Three tiny little minutes.

If you’ve been sticking with me for long enough, you’d know that it takes me bazillion of years to just have one freaking orgasm. Three minutes is a world record for me.

And I’m surprised a wand was able to make me orgasm like this. I mean, my first wand, which I bought, was shitty as hell. It broke my heart, brought me to depression, and it made me lose all hope and interest for wands. That’s why I stopped them from entering Sextopia – I was just not into wands anymore.

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vixen spur

REVIEW: VIXEN SPUR

When the Vixen Spur first showed up in my office with those big watery eyes, and stood there in the middle of my desk, I freaked out. I was never a fan of skin-toned dicks, and looking at the Spur gave me chills down my spine. It looked like a small chopped off ball-less dick, and I felt a bit creeped out by it.

Of course, my feelings for the Spur have changed since then. Greatly. If I had to update my Bumbook[ref]an alternative of Facebook in Sextopia[/ref] relationship status with the Vixen Spur, it would have went from “Massively complicated” to “Massively in love”.

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exotic-erotics hippocampus small

REVIEW: HIPPOCAMPUS SMALL (AGAIN?!?!)

Behold my pervy non-girth loving friends! I’m bringing a rare and exciting news from Sextopia! There’s a new born baby in town!

Back in August 2013, I reviewed the Hippocampus Small. However, it was a known fact that the Hippocampus Small was way too big to be actually called small. So the wonderful folks at Exotic-Erotics started researching a way to help the Hippocampus Small breed. After months of sweating and well…attempted reproducing, the new baby is now finally born!

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