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Dildo

Fleshjack Jean-Daniel Chagall Dildo Review

Review: Fleshjack Boys Jean-Daniel Chagall Dildo

Either my hormones are acting up, or this dildo is really good, but I’ve been massively craving for the Fleshjack Jean-Daniel recently. Which is very bizarre because I would have never thought a dildo like this would make it to the top of my list.

Apart from the awkward and chunky balls that made me drop it mid-masturbation, the girth is as big as my freaking forearm, the textures are way too numerous, and the firmness is way too hard.

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bad dragon winstons tail review

Review: Bad Dragon Winstons Tail – A Personal Girth Trainer

The struggle is real. Each time the Winstons Tail is doing crazy things inside of me, all I want to do is rush to the computer and rave about how good it is as soon as I’m done. However, each time I orgasm with this thing, all I want to do is hide my head between my legs and wonder “Ugh why?! Why me?!” I seem to be cursed with this you-will-love-but-your-orgasms-will-suck spell.

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idee du desir papillon

Review: Idee du Desir Papillon – A 5-in-1

I’m on a mission.

A mission to make the Papillon enter the league – the league of the best sex toys out there in the world, along with the Hitachi, Pure Wand, and all those majestic toys.

I thought about creating a rainbow dildo confetti explosion in your room while a Papillon popped out from your computer screen or hypnotizing you into feeling the need to grab one now to make this toy go viral – because you know, these are some easy way – but heh.

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tantus charmer review

Review: Tantus Charmer

The Tantus Charmer is like the perfect date. The one that clicks with you instantaneously the moment you meet. The one that woes you with a single look. The one that respects you and you’re boundaries. In short, the perfect being you’ve only heard people talk about as they were in love.

But just like any of those way-too-perfect situations, there’s always a twist.

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picobong moka review

Review: Picobong Moka

Picobong Moka spiked my curiosity when I first saw it. My mind was immediately like: “OMG! A VIBRATING LELO ELLA?! Deal! It’s mine!” But when I noticed that it required two AAA batteries to operate, my brain shoved the Moka out of my memory, and I carried on with my life. I mean… There’s no way that a toy requiring AAA battery was going to be powerful or rumbly or even feel good, right?

But I was wrong.

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Jopen Comet Wand

Review: Jopen Comet Wand

It took me eight months, eight freaking months to conquer the Comet Wand. My vagina is finally becoming a boss, but damn did it take a lot of crying, bruised vagina, and courage.

It was somewhere in August 2013 when the Comet Wand entered Sextopia. Back then, the Comet Wand and I just didn’t click. I hated it: I hated how it made my body felt, I hated how it made me scared, and I hated how it made my body react. If I had published my review back then, I would have trashed the Comet Wand.

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vixen spur

Review: Vixen Spur

When the Vixen Spur first showed up in my office with those big watery eyes, and stood there in the middle of my desk, I freaked out. I was never a fan of skin-toned dicks, and looking at the Spur gave me chills down my spine. It looked like a small chopped off ball-less dick, and I felt a bit creeped out by it.

Of course, my feelings for the Spur have changed since then. Greatly. If I had to update my Bumbook[ref]an alternative of Facebook in Sextopia[/ref] relationship status with the Vixen Spur, it would have went from “Massively complicated” to “Massively in love”.

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exotic-erotics hippocampus small

Review: Hippocampus Small (AGAIN?!?!)

Behold my pervy non-girth loving friends! I’m bringing a rare and exciting news from Sextopia! There’s a new born baby in town!

Back in August 2013, I reviewed the Hippocampus Small. However, it was a known fact that the Hippocampus Small was way too big to be actually called small. So the wonderful folks at Exotic-Erotics started researching a way to help the Hippocampus Small breed. After months of sweating and well…attempted reproducing, the new baby is now finally born!

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