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shibari halo wand

Review: Shibari Halo Wand

Three minutes.

That’s how long Shibari Halo Wand took to make me orgasm.

Three tiny little minutes.

If you’ve been sticking with me for long enough, you’d know that it takes me bazillion of years to just have one freaking orgasm. Three minutes is a world record for me.

And I’m surprised a wand was able to make me orgasm like this. I mean, my first wand, which I bought, was shitty as hell. It broke my heart, brought me to depression, and it made me lose all hope and interest for wands. That’s why I stopped them from entering Sextopia – I was just not into wands anymore.

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Lelo Ora

Review: Lelo Ora

You’ll face three possible scenarios after purchasing the LELO Ora.

The first one is: you buy the Ora at $169 to find yourself with a mega expensive vibrator that’s weaker than a $60 vibrator. Then your brain will suddenly realize you just wasted a $109 that could have been spent on 9 customized Boston Pizza with changes left. You cry for an entire day, and go into depression.

The second scenario is: you buy the Ora at $169 to find yourself with only ONE setting, among nine others, that actually feels sort of like a tongue circling your clitoris. But after about a minute, you’ll start massively pressing on the “+” key…

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ohmibod cuddle

Review: OhMiBod Cuddle

Pink invasion.

That’s the first thing I can think about when talking about the OhMiBod Cuddle.

It was a Friday night; I was masturbating peacefully when suddenly the doorbell rang. “Who the hell is ringing at 10 p.m. and not letting me masturbate in peace!”. I growled, dressed up, and stomped out of my room. I was about to yell at whoever was at the door, when I suddenly noticed it was the UPS dude standing there smiling warmly with a mega huge box.

My anger drifted away like it never came. I smiled. How can I possibly get angry when I’m receiving sex toys (I don’t get anything else in the mail)!

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jejoue G-Kii 2

Review: Je Joue G-KII 2

When I saw the Je Joue G-Kii 2, I had to pause for a moment.


The shape. Oh that shape. It’s shaped like the small bulb of the Pure Wand, the holy grail of sex toys. But the best of all? I can curve it at any degree my g-spot would like to have it so that it hits bulleyes every single time. It’s like an upgraded version of the Pure Wand. So why the hell is nobody talking about this beauty?

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minna limon

Review: Minna Limon

My clitoris has been crying. Its dream of owning the same magnificent beatbox as its fellow vagina faded away with the wind.

A couple of months ago, my vagina got provided a great beatbox – the Minna Ola. I thought it would have been fair to provide this same greatness to my clitoris. So I investigated into the newly released Minna Limon…just to find how disappointing it is. It’s too…how to put this…rumbly. Weird eh? Because from my knowledge, the rumblier, the better. Not in this case though.

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lelo mia 2

Review: Lelo Mia 2

LELO Mia 2 is that undercover vibe that nobody ever really talks about. When I was first shopping for bullet vibes, everywhere I went was chanting “GET THE UNBEATABLE THREE! GET THE UNBEATABLE THREE!”. But nobody ever mentioned about this little one.

The Unbeatable Three consists of the Salsa, Tango and Touch that rumbles the hell out of almost every clitoris there is out there. They are the rumbliest and strongest bullet vibe in existence and they are not afraid to show themselves. Mia 2, on the other hand, is more timid.

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